Man vs Woman

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard, "Woman without her man is nothing".

The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

~Punctuation is powerful..so which one do you like the best?? =p

Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change, and she does.

Discussion technique

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that, is the
beginning of a new argument.

Success

A successful man is one who makes more
money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find
such a man.

Future

A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future
until he gets a wife.

Children

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

The Real Definition of Words When Used By Women  

1. Fine - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up.
   
2. That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake.
   
3. Nothing - The calm before the storm. This means "Something" and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with "Nothing" usually end with "Fine" (See #1).
   
4. Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for you when it's your turn to do some chores around the house.)
   
5. Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, "You're welcome," and let it go.
   
6. Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about "Nothing." (See #3)
   
7. Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!)
   
8. Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, see #3.)

laughter is the best medicine..

but don't laugh too much..because u'll cry later =p

just to reduce stress and make you smile..-)

sources:Internet =p